Today I was talking with a friend about how love for your spouse changes. I was thinking back on Jimmy and I and our 15 years together (chokes). We have been married 12 years this past February. Wow that seems so hard to believe sometimes. I have been in this relationship for half my life!
Let that just hang there in space for a second.....HALF MY LIFE!
Our relationship started out so great, like most couples. Everything in us was a twitter. Butterflies were flying around in the sky under a perfect rainbow. There was confetti and parades in my heart every time he walked in the door. Love at the beginning is so real and filling. It becomes the food that sustains you. You walk around in a glow knowing that this one person is the center of your universe. The one bright spot in the world that exists for only you. The laughs, hand holding, longing into each others eyes and the like, is more than most people looking in, can digest without feeling a little throw up in the back of their mouths (sorry). The euphoria of being with that on special someone is so addicting.
We did the dating and the engagement and finally the big day. Finally we were man and wife. The funny thing is that no one you know ever tells you that the minute you get married something inside you changes. Now don't get me wrong I am not saying changes for the worse in anyway, but there is a noticeable difference (at least there was for me). I started to see him as more than this wonderfully funny and charming guy. He was my friend before but now no matter what he was my best friend. My partner in crime. My confidant. Sure he was all these things before but now it had intensified! My love for him somehow multiplied just by saying "I do!" Was this possible or just all in my head?
Well a few years goes by and the inevitable "I can't stand you!" kicks in. That I hate everything about you. The way you look, snore, chew, talk, laugh, even breathe. Somehow in the mess of daily life, kids and work, that wonderful guy I was so in love with turned into this annoying person that would not go away. So yes for awhile Jimmy and I did split. Almost 2 years we were separated. Those 2 years stunk! I tried to move past my feelings, move past the draw towards him. It didn't work. We ended back together. I am not saying the year or two following was easy or even at times comfortable but we did it. We made it to the other side. It was one of the most difficult and painful times in my life but it was also the most rewarding! I just couldn't stop and imagine anywhere else I truly should be.
The love that we have now is so much more real and tangible than anything we had before. He is my best friend, ally, and yes accomplice lol. He has my back in every situation. Every moment we have now is cherished and appreciated. We are comfortable finally, but in a good way. We accept each other fully now. I can accept that he can not for the life of him pick up his laundry off the floor. He can accept that I can not put a tool back in it's proper place. These are trivial things but if you get down to it....it is life. IT IS REAL LIFE. Not something you find in the theaters. Not some glamorized relationship in a novel. This is the grit of life. Excepting someone for all their faults while at the same time still loving them. I want the last argument Jimmy and I to have is that he left dirty, stinky socks on the bedroom floor again. Or that he still can't find that hammer.
I guess the point of this whole saga is this. Love the person you are with. Love them with your whole heart. Tell that person how much they mean to you. Make sure you tell them you love them any chance you get....don't wait! The worst thing you can do in a relationship or in life is to waste it by not saying or doing what your heart feels like it should!
P.S.- If you see Jimmy ask him if he picked up his socks.............lol
