I am very happy to report that in 13 days I have lost 7lbs! I can not even explain how thrilled I am.
I even went to work out today without Jimmy. And yes for a moment, about 10 minutes into the workout, I thought I could get Mary and go home. Jimmy would never know. But then a strange thing occurred to me. I WOULD KNOW! What the heck is happening? Me, the chick who was happy not exercising on purpose. Me, who never thought of sweating profusely in front of strangers. Me, who thought why in the world would you want people to actually see what a wimpy amount of weight you could lift. Me, who personally would think everyone is watching me struggle through whatever exercise I was doing.
Today was a break through. I did more ab exercises without my masters whip. I went in and did more mileage on the treadmill then ever. I increased my speed and incline. I out lasted some of the scrawny chicks with their sports bras and tight daisy-duke shorts. You know the ones I am referring to. The ones with perfectly manicured nails. With the perfectly done hair. The ones with makeup and earrings on. To go to the gym? Please!!! You are not here to workout, you are here looking for a date!
I am so thrilled that I am pushing myself. I so did not want to go to the gym when I woke up, but I gave myself NO chance to get out of it. I woke up, went straight to my bathroom and put on my workout attire. Which includes sweats, t-shirt and sweat shirt. Notice no make up, perfect hairdos, earrings or nails done prior to entering the gym. But I digress. I sat eating breakfast reminded by my attire what I needed to be doing. I turned on my computer to see the weather and what emails I might have gotten while sleeping. Still the clothes were yelling at me to go to the gym. The only thing I could do to remove the gym attire was either go to the gym or hang my head in shame and face the music when Jimmy came home. You know which one I picked.
I am starting to feel some pride in doing this. Some self gratification knowing I am still in the running and don't have to sit on the side lines any more.
I am motivated!
I am powerful!
I am NOT a quitter!
I will do this!
I will succeed!
I will overcome this extra baggage!
I have a dream, that one day I can run in the park with my children and not have to sit on a bench and suck air. I have a dream that I can go into a store and not have to pick clothes out of the "plus size" section. (What I find funny, is that it's the smallest part of the store.) I have a dream that my favorite old jeans will fit again. I have a dream that I will be able to go to a doctor appointment and my weight not be the first thing they want to talk about. I have a dream that I can be able to see a number 1 as the first number on the scale. I have a dream that I will feel more energetic, and keep up with Jimmy and the kids.
Wait a minute! I think I channeled Dr. King. You don't think he would mind me changing his speech a little, do you? I hope not.
